Ya know..

So ya, I know I haven't posted in a long time, but I figure I've been struggling to find time to work out.. and my eating habits have fallen by the way side. I'm going to take the time and work these things out again. Frankly it's been harder so to speak to get into the mood lately. I got outside and do things with the dog more, but that's hard too only because it gets so cold.

Am I making excuses? I could be but I just.. I need to push myself and really start working out at the gym some more. For some time I could see definite improvements in how my body was starting to look, mind you it hasn't really turned into mush or anything and I've been maintaining my weight fairly easily I still need to continue. I suppose this could be something everyone goes through where they get to a point they just don't wanna do it anymore, maybe that's not right because I still wanna do it. Maybe it's just not finding the will to push myself anymore. I suppose it all went to hell after I put aside my habits for a week to enjoy myself. Since then I've really just had a hard time jumping back on the wagon and what I really need to do is roll my happy pudgy self back onto it.

There's been a few times where I've had things to post and wanted to update, I just didn't get into that either.. I'm sorry everyone who did read this.

I guess the first thing to say is total I lost 43 pounds on my own but I got the flu so I think that's actually increased a bit.. I'll have to weigh myself at some point and let people know the grand total thus far. I want to pick it up and figure out what I've stopped doing, or why rather. I could kind of use a push but either way I'll get to it whether it's under my own power or with the help of others.

I still want to be smaller, happier. I do want some muscle on my body but I'd like to be able to just run all day and have some kind of.. physique I guess? I wanna wear under a 2XL shirt.. (those are the max size for all the cool shirts, mind you.) I want to be able to go and do things and not have to worry about various things like whether or not I'll fit.. HELL.. I wanna fit into small places and be all "hah.. can't get me!" Unless the person is smaller.. then they can get me, in which case it's a moot point I guess. haha.

I want to smile, and while I was losing weight I was smiling, a lot. Like.. LOT.. A lot a lot. Lmao

I'll get on it again I suppose, I need to. Maybe I'll do some more working out at work and come home and walk Roxy, my chubby puppy. She needs the exercise. That has benefits for both of us. In fact I've got a story! I took her for a 2 mile walk the other night and by the time we'd finished I had to carry her up the stairs because her tubby love gut couldn't do it herself... She tried mind you, but got up one or two and BOOM.. couldn't do more. XD

Updates from... over here.

So.. I haven't written in a while. This is.. well, I dunno what to say.

I've posted before and been really vague as to why I started my road. What's really happened was me... taring myself down, basically telling myself all sorts of vile stuff. I don't.. think this will ever work for anyone else, nor do I think anyone should ever try this method. I looked in.. a plexiglas reflection of myself and started taking myself apart bit by bit. I won't post the things I said because.. that's.. not privy to the world.

So yeah, motivation comes in different forms for everyone...

Now I also wanna comment on how I've been doing. I've started working out 3 times a week for about an hour, hour and a half depending on how things go. I'm quite happy with my results. I'm currently dropping about a pound a day. It goes to show when someone says "Oh my gosh, it's so hard." Well ya know? "No pain, No gain," is very true, so get over your grief and do something for yourself. I can testify to these facts.

I've cut my diet to about 1/3rd of what it used to be. I have awesome energy.. my joints and limbs aren't stiff anymore, I'm feeling a bit more flexible.

I've also started meditating a bit, theres benefits to that too. just 15 minutes. You'd be surprised what comes of shutting off your mind.

 The Hard Parts: I've had a hard time not eating food, but I've forced myself to eat 2-3 meals a day, solid meals.

I have not had real soda (and soon I won't have diet either) or Candy. These two things alone have been hard.. I get so many cravings.. Eating.. or maybe just chocolate and sugar are.. you wouldn't believe it... addictive. I've had such a hard time turning away from the 5 pound bag of candy in the cabinet or the sugary lovely treats in the cupboards.

The Results: I've lost a couple belt sizes, I'm noticing myself getting smaller, as are other people around me. I've gotten multiple compliments on it and people asking me questions..My stomach is smaller than it used to be so I'm much more prone to fill on less food. I'm.. happier, so much happier now. <3

Hehehe..

So first things first. As of today, Friday the 21st. I've lost 20 pounds in two weeks... and I also had feelings of.. anger toward naturally skinny people. On that note.. I'm okay with it now, some of us just have to work harder.


Today I decided to work out after work. I jumped on an eliptical for 15 minutes at some pretty good results.

I did 5 minutes at resistance 5.
2.5 minutes at resistance 8
2.5 minutes at resistance 10
4.9 minutes at 5 for cooldown
and..10 sec of resistance 10 to mess with myself.

So yeah, all in all I had fun with it.

I also wanted to post something a friend sent to me.

 "I love how people think that I am naturally skinny /sarcasm/.  In honestly I don't really care what people really say here, but I do not have an easy ride to being small, let alone having only 5%-6% body fat. 

 

If people would've realized back at the end of summer, I had increased my body fat to 13% (approx).  Many people would have never guess, until I ran around shirtless.  But only those up in Santa Cruz would've noticed had I still been living there.  But in actuality I have to have a pretty rigorous diet and exercise routine to be able to from the Freshman 15. 

My diet excludes the following foods over 90% of the time or more:

- Desserts

- Sodas

- Most foods that include high fructose syrup

- Fried Foods

- Most red meats

- Hydrogenated oils / trans fats

- Most fast food

- Corn based cereal

- Starch only foods (meaning only gold fish for a meal/snack, or chips only for meal/snack)

 

Then I also try to keep a ratio of 60% protein, 30% carbs, and 10% fats.  But depending on the food, say avocado, then I will exceed that (because I love the food, and contains good fats).  Though I try to stick to that ratio, I probably don't do it very often.  It really is just sticking to the above for what foods to avoid, and ensuring that I get enough vitamins/minerals.

And anyone who thinks I don't eat enough, I eat A LOT.  I can eat a 2 person course meal at the local Korean restaurant, in one sitting.  When half an hour passes by, I am already hungry again!  You can think of me as a mobile garbage disposal these days :).

Protein drinks?  I gave those up a while ago because they didn't do that much and real food is much more satisfying. 

 

Oh.  I run almost every day.  If I am tried, I force myself to run, and when my legs feel like they're exhausted I push myself to keep going until there's no energy left.  Then after running I go to the gym and lift weights for about 1-2 hours.  This is about 4-6 days a week, every week.  And I only rest one day between running and then start again.  The most difficult part is telling myself to exercise when I really just want to be at home relaxing, eating junk food and being a sloth. 

In reality, this routine that I have is not simple nor easy.  It would be nice if people realize that me not ballooning up to the size of that of the average American is no easy task.  I work at it everyday.  I work very hard to making sure I am fit.  It's only that people fail to realize this or fail to see the efforts I put into keeping an active life style"

It burns.. so good

I dunno how I feel about today to be honest. I'm thinking about the way today went and really finding that I am not fond of doing group weight loss activities. On the other hand if I looked at it the right way, it's motivation. so I dunno how I really feel about it. Basically the story as it stands so far is that at work we have this silly "biggest loser" type thing going on right now and after requesting speaking with the doctor.. I told the person in charge of it I really had no interest in losing weight. Consequently I was bombarded by people who wanted my help and me on their team, so yeah, my desires made known were ignored.

That in mind you're probably thinking "But a team!? That's awesome." for me it's not. I don't like doing things because people rely on me to do it. I'd rather just do it alone, for me. I guess it's my loner style or something, no, it's not. That's me being dumb. It's just that i wanna do this for me and only me. That problem is that having my feelings ignored, I'm afraid I'll get bitter about the whole thing and give up. Though after much harshness toward myself... I dunno. We'll have to see I guess

I do have some good news though. I saved money by switching to Geico.... no, not really. I tried out "Your Shape: Fitness Evolved" today. All I can say is that.. I'm in pain, but it's that "I accomplished something" pain. Basically it's a bunch of different work outs and what not that get your moving, get your heart and such going. I was sweating within the first couple of exercises.. My legs then.. began to burn. But in the one exercise I did, it says I burned 164 calories. That's a good thing, right? I feel like I should make an attempt to do it everyday. I'm hoping to see results from it. The cool thing about the game is that it actually takes measurements of your body and what not while you're there, height: leg length, arm length, Shoulder width. It's really cool. so I'm hoping it'll do something gradually as you do it. There are also achievements to be earned for calories burned as you continue through: I'm an achievement whore thus.. more motivation. I like it and I'm excited and I'm read to feel the burn.. I'm afraid to take the stairs in the morning... and Knee sides.. suck, but they're so worth it!

Couple reasons why I'm doing it.. Me, (now a group of people I don't really know that well.) and a girl.. who deserves a guy.. that.. I could become.. eh, either way.

So.. new update!

So I bought a kinect over the weekend. It's wonderful to use. I really enjoy that pain feeling going through my muscles. I enjoy that burning. So it works. I've taken it easy on the food thing and am still watching carbs, but I'm not being epic.. stingy about it which is helping me cope a bit. As far as things go weight loss wise, I've lose 12 pounds as of Monday (since the previous Monday) and so far this week since then I've lost another 3 pounds (baring in mind I had to take a break from working out because I rendered myself too sore from using the kinect and just flat out working out.) So I've just been careful about what I eat. So far it's working out pretty well. Trying to get regular sleep but.. well, there are reasons why I have missed out on sleep all together ^_^;

I'm hoping things continue on so well. I kind of have an unrealistic overall goal, but I know I can achieve it if I keep going. I just keep setting smaller goals to reach. I'm afraid of plateauing though, but I think if I keep going the way I am once I feel I can work out again, I'll lose a lot of weight. Maybe an hour a night as opposed to the mighty stupid 3 hours in one night that's gonna kill my muscles. Oh wells, more updates on the way.

Cire's Idea, Cire's Rambling.

This'll be pretty simply put. I want to lose weight and this is a tool for me to do it. People can help me by commenting, giving me ideas, or whatever you feel will help.

Last Wednesday,
I spent the day at work standing there. I looked at my reflection and analyzed what I like. I like.. very little right now. I don't want to be this way anymore, I want to be thinner, happier, healthier. I want to live a long and fulfilling life. I stood there and thought on how much I hate, yes, HATE how I look. I HATE that I can't wear certain awesome clothing. I HATE that I don't do anything because it's uncomfortable. Most of all I HATE how I feel like I'm judged by others when I'm most likely not and that I won't be around for a long time if I don't get a hold on this now.

New Years
I went to a party with a bunch of friends and at one point I felt... kind of worthless. There was things said that really hurt me and I know people were drunk and I was probably being overly sensitive, but I've always been sensitive about my weight. A couple of friends came out onto the deck where I was sitting and thinking. They asked me what was going on and I told them. We talked some stuff out and I started to feel better. Later that night me and my friend Rob were talking on the deck again and he told me some things about his past. He asked me why it matters what others think. The simple answer to that is because.. I've been stupid. It doesn't matter what anyone has to say or the ideas they have about me. He then told me something that I've thought on many times. What I want for me, I have the power to attain.

This past Week (1/10 - 1/15)
This week all I've had to drink is water. And I feel kinda better for it. I did have some diet soda.. but my main reasoning for this is that Water is devoid of carbs and so much of it a day will actually increase your metabolism. It's not a huge increase, but every bit counts, right? As far as the diet soda is concerned: Water 24/7 will get boring fast and that boring has always been a problem for me. I can't stay on something if I can't find a method of keeping it interesting. So keeping this in mind. I've used diet soda to keep things interesting.

Food wise I've gone a different route. I'm avoiding my usual habits. I'm still not eating breakfast (which is a stupid Idea, I know.) But on another note I'm not eating 102384 pieces of candy, or potato chips, or any of that garbage. I've begun to eat lunch (which is where I do most of my carb load which is around 33g a day.) And dinner is a bit more conservative. I try to avoid high carb bits, and so far so good.

I've followed this up with exercise, a LOT more than I've done in the past. I do more around the house, I've cut back gaming, I do 75 crunches a night, and I'm gonna begin running more this week (using works Gym of course.)


What this means for me so far. This week I've lost 7 pounds but bare this in mind. I haven't really tried exercise wise, I've got a lot more to figure out food wise and I need to keep on water.


The Reason For This Blog

Motivation, understanding, and knowledge.

I'm hoping that by mapping out my road and path. By allowing others to comment, and by letting people see this. I'll find the help I need, people will find out that they can do this sort of thing too. And.. Well, support from friends and family is a good thing now and again.

I'll also be linking my friend Bunny too. She'll have more info about what she's hoping to achieve but by sharing in a common goal, supporting each other, and just being there. We want to accomplish something.



Thanks everyone who does read this. Feel Free to pass this all around. to anyone you feel like.

Cire